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You have no clue how bad I wanted to kiss you when I had my arms around you it was like nothing else mattered

dammit i do get it your hurt and why wouldnt you be i built you up and tore you down time and time again like you were a stranger as you stood there crying i just stared right through you and i dont know why… i guess its because of what i am i wasnt lying when i said im crazy… when i said im a psychopath… a monster maybe im just trying to justify the wrongs i did to you which i dont think will ever happen but i dont feel emotion like you do its not that im depressed its just and i dont know why but they’re numbed all of them, but all i know is one thing I still love you and i still want to hold you i want to hold you and never let go i want to so bad it took all i had in me today not to just hold you, and ya see this is where your not always right maybe things will be different i dont have a job now i dont have that as a distraction maybe my distaction could be you because i cant live with just knowing your okay and i make you smile every now and then i want you to kiss me if im the only person you want to kiss then do it already i want you to oh god i miss it its one of the few moments where my feelings come alive when they arnt numb i dunno i guess what im trying to say is im sorry i didnt buy you flowers, im sorry i didnt write you poems, im sorry i didnt text you like i should have, but dammit… i need you